Fifty Bucks per Gallon

New 40 gallon hot water heater.

I came home from the Webbs', last night, and walked into what felt like a sauna. The humidity in my little house was just unbelievable. Water was beading up on the outsides of the faucets and on all the window panes. And, I could hear what sounded like water running.

Being as it was late on Thanksgiving night, I just decided to go to bed and deal with it, this morning.

This morning, I removed the little wall which had built to hide the hot water heater. There was water running out of the seams of the water heater, and draining through a crack at the base of the wall.

"Great", I thought, "I probably have a freaking underground lake below my house now." (Full of snakes, too, probably.)

So, I call a full-service plumbing place up, and had them send out a plumber.

"Y'need a new one," he said.

"How much?" I asked, bracing for the blow.

POW! Right between the eyes! Figuratively, of course. In reality, my new hot water heater cost me about as much as my Triumph Trident!

"Go ahead," I croaked through numb lips. Nothing like piling up a little credit card debt for the holidays.

Five hours later, including a visit from the Water Department to turn off a balky main valve from the street, and I have a new hot water heater.

The new one is bigger around than the old one ("That's what we use in mobile homes, nowadays."), so my little hideaway wall won't work, any more. I'll have to figure out something else to keep it out of sight. When I see it sitting there in plain view, I feel like I've wandered into someone's basement.

I haven't had the nerve to open up my access hatch and look under the house to see how much water is under there. If you read about a local Denver man being carried off by a riot of mold, it will probably be me.

Not really how I wanted to spend my "Governor's Day".

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